Dealing With Fear
I've done a few workshops on this topic with my business partner Jill, and I continue to deal with fear in my own life. Starting on a new venture, becoming and entrepreneur, stepping into a new chapter or any life change can make the gremlins come alive with added gusto. That has certainly proven true in my case. I am learning how to deal with the gremlins, face those fears and walk through them everyday. As such, Jill and I have developed a system that breakdown fear into three types and created action items to deal with each type. Here's the types:
Core Fears: Core fears come from a past experience that had a strong impact on our life and leave a background belief that impacts our present. Key words to identify Core Fear stories: Always, never, every time, etc.
Catastrophic Fears: These fears are possible but not probable (at least in this moment). They are future fears and in this moment they are speculation - an earthquake will strike, I will get cancer, or I will lose my home. Not much can be done about them (aside from purchasing an earthquake kit, for example). It could be anything and these fears can be fed by the media and by comparisons. For example: "my friend lost her job and then she lost her house. If I lose my job it means I will lose my house."
Probable Fears: These fears have moved into reality. They are happening now or are imminent and have very real impact on our lives. Examples: debts, relationship difficulties, etc.
In my experience, most fears are of the first two varieties. We tend to unnecessarily manufacture stress around these fears because our minds and bodies respond to the stories we tell ourselves. We can get stuck in the flight or flight mode physically and mentally. What I have learned is that working with both my body and mental state is an effective way to face those fears and not allow them to be the driver of me! As for the probable fears, since they are real, the time has come for action. If you are in denial, they won't go away unless you deal with them. Ask yourself if you need support and seek it out. In my own life, I experienced this with debt and it was a huge weight on my conscience until I committed to facing it, found the support I needed to work through the shame I felt and created an action plan to overcome it. I can tell you facing this fear has made my life so much better and I learned a lot about fear from the experience.